bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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