So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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