i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize