Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
