I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
