my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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