D3 body, D1 cock
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
