Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
