Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm always down for nudity.
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