don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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