I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
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MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I forget how to act sober
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