did you get engaged???
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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