The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
