nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
