she was so not down for the gang bang
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
