that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
