Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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