can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
