I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
