I got chris browned last night
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
