I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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