Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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