so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
