Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
