I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
