you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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