fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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