I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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