I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
