i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize