It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
