I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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