just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
