I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
