So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
