my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
