Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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