Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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