apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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