It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
