Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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