Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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