i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
two words...techno handjob
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
