yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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