Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
