i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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