We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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