If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
