Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
