There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
