Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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