So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sober January is a disaster.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
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My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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