I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
