apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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