Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
