Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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