that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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