Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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