he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
