I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize