my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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