I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
