soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize